so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
