thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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