after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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