omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
