even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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