If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize