I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
