He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
