I'm jealous of your bromance
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
