If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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