Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
