My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
