He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize