Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
