the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
