How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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