whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
