Dude my mom stole all your condoms
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
