It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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