he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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