Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
