WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
