I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
