He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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