You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
