I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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