Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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