i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
