You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
