i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
