Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
bring money and cleavage
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize