new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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