whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
