normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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