question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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