How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
