i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
