Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
