This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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