I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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