he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize