My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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