Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
