We got so high we made milksteak
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
