Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
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Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
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I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
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