Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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