it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
