I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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