I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
