dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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