why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
