i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I have post one night stand depression
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize