If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
