You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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