He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
