Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
