I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Are we still banned from the library?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
