My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
please come you make the beer taste better
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
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I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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