Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
