Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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