I want to have your abortion
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
