Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?