She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...