Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN