There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
3pm strippers are depressing
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.