Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Randomize
