Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
