like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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