Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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