ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this just has baby written all over it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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